photos by tonight or tomorrow, promise:)

We've been hiding enough.

last night was the 1st time i've ever seen you so vulnerable, much more vulnerable than anyone else could have been. you've never failed to stand up for me even when everyone were against me, to tell me how great i was even when i was not. you always appeared to be strong in front of me, so strong that i always thought you'll always be there for me and i'll always have you no matter what happens and that was probably the reason why i took you for granted all along. you're definitely someone dear to me, someone really dear that i've never thought of wanting to lose indeed. i hate to do this but i've got no choice because even when you were sounding so restless and so much in pain, you were still actually begging me to make you a promise, a promise i didn't want to make as i know i'll regret but i couldn't even do or say anything to salvage at all. all i could do was to hear you cry throughout the whole phone-call, telling me how weak i've made you felt for the 1st time and then crying along with you, then making you a stupid pact by telling you, 'this will be the last time you'll be hearing my voice so please don't cry, i promise you please' even when i was so reluctant to do so, so that you could felt my assurance and go to bed at ease. yes, my very 1st time assuring someone too, i didn't know it was so.. hard, or rather heart-breaking. doubt that you'll ever have the chance to read this but all i want to tell you is that i didn't mean to make you feel this weak. these 2 months seem so short but it is definitely going to be one of the most important part down my memory lane. i didn't know i'd be able to get the chance to meet you again 2 years later after losing you unknowingly 2 years back, and it was good, really good. i know it's too late to regret but hey, i'm really very sorry for screwing you up entirely.



Happy 19th birthday my dearest friend,
thank you for always being there for me.
you're the most fab boy i've met:)

i always thought about how nice it'd be, if only someone was there to assure me with sentence like, 'hey don't cry, everything is going to be fine.'

haven't be receiving this type of assurance for quite a while already. i wonder how long will i be feeling worn out both physically and mentally this time round.

HEY HOW'S EVERYONE!! :)

man, i'm still cocked up with another 3 papers and my eyebags are like this > O.O now. chio bo? hahaha ok anyway, i'm here to update myself as well as telling you guys that i'm doing pretty..... fine? er wait. 'fine' is not the word. i think it's more to be 'i'm-not-okay' and 'i-need-a-break' type of thing because alot of quarrels and fights has been going on for me for these past 2 weeks and..... i'm reluctant to admit but i must say that i'm getting really tired of this crying-every-night routine. I really dread it when it comes to night, I'll probably will be inside my room calling a person who never ever will pick up (maybe once in 100x) and cry like a dumb fuck. BRRRRRRR >:

on a happier note, i'll be sort of going on a 'date' with bui on this coming Saturday. Yes yes bui the indonesia boy! let's hope, let's hope that everything will turn out to be good ^^

probably 5 years back..

me: mummy why is everybody in the family wearing specs except me?

and 5 years later I turn like this..


after 2 months of suspecting myself with eyesight problem i went to the optical shop today to get my eyes checked. i end up like this. nice one? \m/

i'm down with sore throat again and i sound like Mr Bean now o.o

this is the last post for the coming 3 weeks! i will be back after... 11 Nov! See you guys here by then!:)

english papers tomorrow good luck everyone! goodnight:)